Stupidity
by Isabel Juno
Summary: What could have happened after the cameras went out on season six finale! Disregards season 7 completely. Gil reflects.... GCR... angst
1. The Fool's Drink

Author: Isabel Juno

Story: Stupidity

disclaimers: if I owned CSI ... well lets just say things would be different...

Spoilers: season six finale...

READ THIS: I began this story after I saw the season six finale and I have only just gotten internet back so thats why i didn't post it a while ago.

READ & REVIEW PLEASE!

Stupidity

By Isabel Juno

Gil sat at with his head resting on the bar and a half empty bottle of tequila resting by his empty shot glass. He heard the commotion at the pool table as somebody sank the eight ball for the win. He started smacking his head lightly down on the table building up in intensity until a gentle and understanding voice teased him.

"Keep that up and you'll give yourself brain damage." Gil smiled.

"Thanks for coming Warrick." He said quietly and lifted his head to look at his tall friend. Warrick Brown sat down on the worn stool next to Gil.

"So what the hell did you call me out here for? It's 3 in the morning on your night off." He scolded.

"I'm an idiot." Said Gil listlessly smacking his head on the bar top again. Warrick stared at him in a stunned silence.

"Umm… mind telling me why?" He felt terribly confused. Gil started talking, his face still buried in his arms and Warrick had to strain to hear him.

"I'm an idiot. I just did the dumbest thing I've ever done. I don't even know why the hell I did it." Gil stopped, his words were slurring slightly.

"What'd you do?" asked Warrick curiously. He'd never heard Gil talk like this. He'd never seen Gil drunk either. Two for the record books. Gil let out a moan of despair. He then mumbled something between a wail and a drunken explanation.

"Huh? I didn't catch that." Warrick said apologetically. Gil lifted his head and looked at Warrick miserably.

"What's the most un-Grissom like thing you can think of?" Moaned Gil. Warrick felt surprised. He'd never heard Griss use the popular lab phrase referring to himself; he hadn't known Grissom had ever heard anybody use the phrase "un-Grissom like". Warrick puzzled over Gil's question and shrugged. Nothing really came to mind. He'd seen and heard Grissom do several un-Grissom like things in the past 5 minutes. He now doubted anything being beyond the enigmatic man's capabilities. The bartender came up to him and told him to order something or leave. He ordered a Bacardi and started sipping it as Grissom drowned down three more shots of tequila. Warrick set his rum down a little bit out of Grissom's reach as he was now eyeing it hopefully.

"So what did you do?" He asked, now very curious. Grissom looked at him dismally.

"I slept with Sara." He said flatly and then downed another shot. Warrick felt the rum make its make halfway down his throat before he started coughing and sputtering and somehow the burning liquid made its way up his nose.

"WHAT!" The bugman always managed to find a way to startle Warrick. This was definitely the last thing he'd expected to hear. Gil was half moaning half sobbing into his arms. It would have been comical if Warrick hadn't been so shocked. Gil had never shown any sign of returning Sara's feelings.

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?" Asked Warrick still shocked. Gil nodded miserably.

"Now before you ask I'm going to reiterate. I HAVE NO IDEA WHY!" He spoke the last part very clearly. Warrick tried to calm down.

"Do you… ya know." He said trying to ascertain the situation.

"No, I don't have those feelings for her." Said Gil flatly but firmly. He frowned and began eyeing the tequila again.

"I need to find a way to tell her it was all a mistake without hurting her… or pissing her off to the point where she hurts me." He added the last part nervously. Warrick nodded. He could picture that. When Sara found out that Gil didn't reciprocate her feelings and that sleeping with her was what he considered to be the stupidest thing he'd ever done. He was very glad he wasn't Griss. Gil downed yet another shot of tequila, his bottle almost empty. Warrick wondered how Grissom could still be conscious after that much tequila. Grissom's hair was messy and looked like it hadn't been brushed in a few days. His shirt was rumpled and un-tucked and his pants were wrinkled like he'd slept in them, or more likely, Warrick thought, he'd passed out in them. Grissom's face looked haggard and worried. His eyes were unfocused and slightly blank looking. Warrick puzzled over how to help his friend and supervisor.

"Tell her and start running." Warrick suggested and received a dark look for his half-effort. Grissom shook his head drunkenly and grabbed for the tequila bottle. Warrick snatched from him.

"You don't need anymore of this. You'll pass out if you drink anymore." Grissom gave him a pouting look and then stole Warrick's Bacardi before Warrick could stop him.

"Cheers." Said Grissom before downing the shot glass and refilling it. Warrick stared at Grissom; his mouth had fallen open from shock. How much could Grissom drink? Grissom noticed Warrick staring and smirked.

"I have a high alcohol tolerance." He explained.

"I guess." Said Warrick. He was still processing the situation. They sat, Warrick thinking and Grissom drinking, for about another five minutes. A thought that had been bugging Warrick for several minutes finally burst its way out of his mouth.

"I thought you had a thing for Catherine." Grissom sent a shot of rum out of his nose and immediately began yelping with pain. He'd been alternating between shots of tequila and rum and Warrick wondered which one would hurt the most to send shooting out your nose. After Grissom had adjusted to the burning pain he looked carefully at Warrick.

"Umm… well yes." He said uncomfortably. Warrick raised an eyebrow enjoying Grissom's look of discomfort immensely.

"Yes what?" His eyes twinkled evilly. Grissom gave him a long hard Grissom glare to no avail. He sighed.

"Yes I have a thing for Catherine." He returned to his drinking routine. "Not that she'd return those feelings." He added in a low tone. Warrick rolled his eyes.

"You know. For a genius you're a moron." Gil blinked.

"She's got a thing for ya man. That's why she turned me down when I asked her out." Warrick explained. Grissom looked up at him sharply his mouth falling open in shock.

"You asked her out?" He seemed to be stuck in between anger and depression. Warrick sighed.

"Griss, you missed the important bit there. She turned me down because she wants you bugman." Gil just sort of sat there with a look of miserable horror.

"What fucking hell have I dug myself into?" He asked of nobody in particular. Warrick felt stunned. He'd never heard Grissom say the F word before. It came as quite a shock. He'd seen Grissom pissed before but had never heard him use anything worse than "Son of a bitch". It was driving him nuts, he had to know why.

"Seriously though… why did you?" Grissom sighed and studied his shot glass, then, throwing his head back he downed it. He set the glass down hard on the bar and looked miserably at it.

"I dunno… I guess… I was sick of wanting Catherine and nothing happening between us. I'd try flirting and she'd flirt back but never really hint she wanted anything more than our friendship. I was scared to come right out and ask her out. I'm terrified that if I did and she rejected me I'd loose my friendship with her as well. I wanted a relationship but I didn't want to loose Catherine and there was Sara, who obviously has wanted a relationship so I decided to give it a shot. Dumb idea I know. The stupidest thing I've ever done. Now I don't know what to do. I don't know how to fix this mess I've created." He fell silent and dropped his head back into his arms miserably. Warrick stared. He'd never known Grissom was so insecure about his friendship with Catherine.

"Look," he said,"Just tell Sara the truth. If she doesn't understand it's her loss." Gil stared at him.

"Then what? Am I supposed to go to Catherine and say "hey guess what? Sleeping with Sara made me realize you're the only woman for me?" Yeah, that will go over real well Warrick." Gil snapped. He dropped his head back into his arms and apologized for snapping.

"I know you're trying to help but… it's not really helping." Warrick smiled slightly.

"I'm thinking here ok? Give me a chance to help you." Gil nodded miserably his head still in his arms. Warrick thought about it. What would he do if he were in Grissom's position?

"Try getting Sara to break it off." Grissom gave him a dirty look.

"Why don't you think about what the chances of that are?" He said bitterly. Warrick thought about it realizing Griss was right. He scrunched his face in concentration.

"I think I'm going to be sick." Mumbled Grissom. Warrick smirked.

"No shit Sherlock. Think you drank to damn much maybe somehow?" Warrick said sarcastically. Grissom glared at him and lifted his finger and pointed at Warrick in a very unfocused manner. His eyes were beginning to slide out of focus and Warrick could see Griss was about to pass out.

"Look, I'm not gonna be sick because of the alcohol… I'm sicker with my own actions and stupidity." With those famous last words Grissom fell off his barstool landing with a loud thud on the floor. The loud thud was soon followed by drunken snores. Warrick sat staring at his passed out friend with a smirk on his face as he shook his head and turned back to the bar pulling out his cell phone. If Grissom wasn't going to take action (not that he really could at the moment) Warrick would have to.

"Hello."

"Hey, its Warrick, can you come over to Riley's Pub?" There was a pause.

"Sure. When?"

"Now."

"Umm… ok. I'll be there in a few minutes." There was a click as the line disconnected. Warrick snapped the phone shut, stowing it away in his shirt pocket. He shot a glance at the figure snoring prone on the floor and snorted to himself. A few minutes passed and Warrick put back a couple of shots while waiting. The barkeep came over and asked if they should call a cab for Grissom.

"Nah… just leave him there." He didn't want Grissom going anywhere. He sat in silence watching the captions on the TV. The Los Angeles Lakers were playing the Phoenix Suns and the Suns were expected to win it. So far it was 3-3 and this was the tiebreaker, Suns were in the lead.

"Why is Gil passed out on the ground?" Asked a stunned voice. Warrick ripped his attention from the third quarter toss up and turned to Catherine.

"He drank way too much. Thanks for coming. I need to talk to you about Grissom… plus I've had too much to drive right now and need help getting him home." Catherine nodded and went to open her car as Warrick paid for his and Gil's numerous shots and the two of them carried an inebriated and unconscious Grissom and stuffed him in the backseat of Catherine's Denali. They drove in relative silence as Catherine asked how much Gil had drunk. They arrived in front of the townhouse. Catherine helped Warrick get Gil out of her car and then she hurried up to the door and began fishing out the key that Gil had given her to his townhouse, "in case I don't show up for a week or something." He'd told her when he gave her the key. She never thought she'd end up using it because Gil had passed out in a local bar.

The door opened and Catherine hurried in and led a huffing Warrick to Gil's brown leather couch where Gil was unceremoniously dumped as Warrick's arms gave out. He was only so strong. It wasn't that Gil was fat, it was just he wasn't a scrawny little guy like Greg, who Warrick had, on several occasions, had to carry up to his apartment. Greg didn't know how much booze was too much.

Catherine put a dark blue blanket over Gil and watched him mumble in his drunken slumber and wrap himself in the blanket. It was both cute and funny, Catherine thought. She sighed inwardly wishing Gil would return her feelings. She knew how Sara felt in that respect. Personally she thought she was worse off than Sara. Gil didn't even flirt with Sara; whenever Sara flirted with Gil he gave her a look like there were lobsters crawling out of her ears. With Catherine he flirted and she'd flirt back and then they'd both get back to working or somebody would interrupt them.

Warrick followed Catherine into one of the only bug free rooms of the townhouse. Well relatively bug free… Gil kept his kitchen spotless. A habit, Catherine knew that Gil's mother had ground into him as a child. She was comfortable in Gil's kitchen. He invited her and Lindsey over enough to where they both knew where everything was and felt comfortable going into the kitchen. Opening the fridge and examining the contents was always an adventure though, today it was chilled crickets in blue Tupperware labeled "couscous", a half-gallon of orange juice, some "I can't believe its not butter", a jar of chocolate grasshoppers, a few generic brand bottles of water, a half eaten tuna sandwich, something Catherine couldn't identify but looked like it was alive, some leftover spaghetti, and ground hamburger with some kind of mold growing on it and that was just on the top shelf. The lower shelves contained various types of bug food, fruits, and vegetables. She grabbed two bottles of water and handed one to Warrick. He caught a glimpse of the unidentifiable mess in the glass dish and raised an eyebrow.

"I never ask what his little experiments are. I'm too afraid to know." Said Catherine honestly. Warrick smirked. Catherine felt curious about why Warrick had called her in particular. She knew that Warrick could have brought Gil here by himself or could have called Nick. But he'd called her and told her that he needed to talk to her. That he needed to talk to her about Gil no less. Her mind briefly entertained a few ideas that almost made her blush and definitely got her heart pumping. She pushed them to the back of her mind and situated herself in one of the kitchen chairs.

"So what did you need to discuss with me about Gil?" Warrick plopped down across from her.

"Gil called me at three in the morning. He asked me to come to the bar." Catherine cut him off.

"Its 9 in the morning! Are you telling me you guys have been there for six hours?" Warrick blinked and glanced at his watch. He grinned sheepishly.

"Man how the time does fly! Anyway," he continued ignoring Catherine's disbelieving look, "He was already drunk when I got there. He started telling me that he's just done the dumbest, most un-Grissom like thing he's ever done." Catherine raised her eyebrow.

"He said un-Grissom like?" She asked trying not to laugh.

"Yeah, I was shocked too… I didn't know he'd even heard anybody use that." Warrick mused. Catherine was torn between disbelief and laughter.

"So what did he do?"

"Huh?"

"What did he do that was so stupid and "un-Grissom like?" she asked patiently. Warrick suddenly felt nervous.

"Umm… you have to promise to hear out the entire story ok?" He needed to not screw this up. Catherine was beginning to get annoyed.

"Fine, ok, whatever just tell me what he did." Warrick looked so nervous she felt bad for snapping at him. He squirmed in his seat, worrying how she would take this.

"Well umm… he slept with Sara." There was a moment of silence.

"WHAT!"

"Cath calm down!" Warrick pleaded.

"HE WHAT!" She had stood up her bottle of water falling to the floor and spilling over the hardwood floors. She'd known Gil wasn't hers. She'd known he slept with Lady Heather and that hadn't bugged her. She knew he'd sort of had a thing for Sofia. She could handle that. What she couldn't handle was Sara. She couldn't wrap her mind around Sara getting the man that Catherine had wanted for years. That idea killed her. She sank down into the chair the tears starting to fall unbidden. Warrick sat, unsure what to do.

"He regrets it. He told me why he did it too." Catherine glared at him, still crying silently.

"He did it cause' he's stupid." She accused softly.

"He agrees with you." Muttered a sleepy hung over voice from the doorway. Catherine continued to glare at the table her fists balling under the table. Warrick glanced up at Grissom. His eyes were bleary and he seemed slightly unsteady. He shuffled into the kitchen towards the microwave where Warrick could see a bottle of aspirin. Gil poured a few pills out onto his hand and grabbed two bottles of water from the fridge. He set one in front of Catherine and opened the other. Throwing back the pills and chasing them with some water he pushed himself up onto the counter, not trusting his safety within arms reach of Catherine. She still looked furious.

"Do you want to know why I did it?" He asked gently. She looked up at him rage and pain in her eyes. Gil felt a pang of regret adding to the already overwhelming regret and worry plaguing him.

Her eyes stung with tears begging to form. She refused them. She felt like Gil had killed a little part of her. She could see the regret and concern in his eyes and right now she wanted to see something else. Anything else. She didn't want to see his deep blue eyes anymore. Ever. She stood up startling Warrick who'd been pondering whether or not to leave. This hadn't gone as planned. He mentally kicked Grissom for coming in. He figured that Catherine would at least listen to him but all hopes of that disappeared when Griss came into the room. Warrick sighed knowing that there was going to be trouble. Catherine walked out of the room leaving Warrick staring at the unopened bottle of water Gil had set in front of Cath and the spilled water on the floor. Gil sat for a second trying to figure out what had just happened. A little alarm went off in the back of his head and for once he listened to it. He jumped off of the counter and, moving faster than anybody had seen him move in 20 years, he bolted to the door just barely catching up with Catherine just outside of his door. Her hair caught the early morning light beautifully and it only accentuated her beauty further. He called her name and saw her shoulders tense, o right she's furious with me, he remembered. He grabbed her shoulders and spun her around.

"Cath, you've got to hear me out." He said quickly. She glared at him.

"I don't have to listen to you." She said, the tension between them palpable. Her eyes burned with an enraged fire. Gil almost withered beneath her furious glare. Almost.

"Okay that's true. Please hear me out." He pleaded softly. Her eyes narrowed as her breathing caught. Goddamn him, him and his gentle eyes. She gave him a curt nod. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. His arms dropped down to his sides. He began speaking quickly and precisely.

"I'm an idiot. That much is obvious. You've been with guys in the past, and each and every time I've seen the bruises from Eddie or Adam or the emotional scars from them and Chris; each and every time I've wanted to beat the hell out of them. I've wanted to just take you in my arms and take you far away from those scumbags. I wanted to keep you safe forever and I wanted to just be with you." Gil paused taking a deep shaky breath and continuing quickly, his eyes still closed as if, if they he wouldn't be able to talk. "I figured out several years ago that my desire to protect you went far beyond that of a friend. I figured out that I wanted more than a friendship with you. I wanted to be with you. I wanted to love you and for you to love me. I was scared to tell you and honestly, I still am." She stared at him; his breathing was rough and fearful. His expression remained blank and his eyes closed as if they were his last remaining defense against his emotions.

"I was sick of wanting you and nothing happening between us. I was scared to come right out and ask you because I figured you'd reject me. I figured you'd reject me and we'd end up losing our friendship too and I couldn't handle that." He swallowed hard. "I went to Sara because I was sick of flirting with you and you flirting back and still getting nowhere. I went to her because, even as stupid as I am about reading people and their emotions, I knew that Sara wouldn't reject me. I wanted a safe relationship but I realized that there was no way that it would work out." He began gesticulating irritably, "So now I'm in a huge fucking mess and I have no idea how to dig myself out of it." He dropped his arms to his sides and opened his eyes. Cath stared at him and the sheepish sad look in his eyes. She felt her anger begin to dissolve. It was still very real, but she couldn't help but forgive him. She smiled at him shaking her head slightly.

"You know you're an idiot right?" She said teasingly. He smiled slightly and looked hopefully at her.

"Am I forgiven?" His voice was soft and hopeful. She nodded.

"For now." She informed him. There was an angry yell from behind them.

"You unbelievable bastard!" Shrieked Sara. She stormed up from her hiding spot. Tears were streaming down her face.

"I was the other option? I was your safe bet? You unimaginable bastard!" Catherine felt worried. She'd seen Sara pissed but never like this. She saw a furious woman who was beyond reasoning. She glanced at Gil who was frowning and looking like he was going to try appealing to Sara's sense of reason. Cath didn't think that was a very wise idea.

"Sara… it's not like that." His voice trailed off as he realized that that was exactly what it was. He felt as horrid as he had in the bar. He knew Sara didn't deserve this. He had taken advantage of her. He felt like a bastard. He knew he deserved the insults. Sara stopped a few feet away from them, the tears still pouring down her face as it constricted in rage. Gil sighed, wondering how many times he was going to cause pain to these two women today. He'd already succeeded in causing them both to cry, or at least come close to it. He hated himself for that and he hated the fact he had no idea what to say. He was completely lost, adrift in an ocean of trouble, about to be crushed by the waves of his own making.

"Sara, I'm sorry. Last night was a mistake. It never should have happened and I'm sorry that my stupidity is causing you pain, but I don't know of anyway around it. I never meant to hurt you. I'm sorry, honest to god I am." He stopped abruptly. He didn't know what else to say. He was surprised he'd managed that much. Sara glared at him, tears still falling, before turning her rage upon Catherine.

"This is your fault!" She screamed launching herself at Catherine before she could protest. She slammed her fist into Catherine's startled countenance. Catherine let out a cry of pain and shock. She'd heard Sara's accusation then felt the pain then saw Gil pull Sara away from her roughly. Gil was shaking with anger and shock. He couldn't believe what had just happened. He held a still struggling Sara back, but could do nothing about the screams and curses she was shrieking about Catherine.

"SARA STOP IT!" Shouted Gil furiously. He wouldn't let Sara hurt Cath. He didn't want Sara to find out like this because this was the reaction he'd feared but he'd thought it would be aimed at him.

"You fucking bastard. I hate you." She told him softly, the tears beginning anew.

"I'm sorry. I don't hate you." He said quietly. He was furious with her but this was his own damn fault and now Cath was hurting physically and Sara was hurting emotionally. Sara processed what Gil had said. She stopped shrieking and struggling. Warrick skidded out Gil's front door staring at the scene. Catherine with a bloody lip, Gil restraining Sara, and Sara looking fit to kill with tears streaming down her face. He made a quick decision.

"Griss," he said softly, "I'll take her home ok?" His voice was gentle. Grissom nodded and released Sara; Warrick put his arm around Sara and began leading her to her car as his was still at the bar. She leaned into him, her head on his chest. He felt confident she'd be ok. She then did something none of them expected. She reached to her sidearm and spun around quickly, pointing the gun and pulling the trigger. There was a sudden movement as one of the two by the door saw the gun and who it was pointing at and pushed the other out of the way, taking the bullet themselves. Warrick pinned Sara's arms behind her ripping the still smoking gun from her hand. She looked stunned unable to believe what she'd just done. Her knees went weak and she collapsed.

"Gil…"


	2. The Final Escape

Authors notes: READ & REVIEW... Please no flames... and there is a character death but its not what you think so please enjoy the suspense... Also i don't own CSI i just own the idea for the story...

"Gil…" she muttered softly. What had she done? Gil landed hard on the cement porch and Catherine screamed his name dropping to her knees beside him. Warrick started screaming into his cell phone for an ambulance. Sara sat unmoving. Why had he done that? How could he love Catherine enough to sacrifice himself? Why didn't he love her, Sara? She looked up at Catherine crouched over Gil crying and shouting at Gil to stay conscious, her hands pressed down tightly over his chest.

Catherine watched in fear and horror as Gil's blood trickled in-between her fingers. She watched as Gil's eyes closed as he lost consciousness.

"No." She whispered tears making a trail down her stricken face. She looked around desperately for help. Warrick was shouting at his cell phone and Sara had fallen to her knees looking lost. She looked up and down the deserted street; the report of the gun seemed to be a signal for everybody to hide and for nobody to help. Warrick kept shouting and Catherine realized she couldn't hear him. All she could hear was a strange strangled scream and as her throat became increasingly pained she realized it was coming from her. The scream was of one sentence.

"Stay awake dammit Gil." Again and again the sentence tore its way out of her; becoming a subconscious mantra as Catherine pressed down on the escape the bullet had provided Gil's blood. Catherine lost all awareness of her surroundings as Gil bled out, his blood staining the ground around him a rich crimson. She didn't hear the sirens approaching and was only vaguely aware of the EMT's rushing towards her. She only registered what was going on when they began trying to pull her away from Gil; she clenched her hands on his blood-soaked shirt in a viselike grip and had to be pried away by Jim. It was only when Jim handed her the white Styrofoam cup of coffee in the waiting room that she registered what had happened and as Jim asked her what had happened she looked at him with an almost lost look.

"She shot him."

"I gathered that. But why did she shoot him? What happened?" Jim seemed almost unable to believe what he'd seen on arriving. Sara being Mirandized and led to a squad car. Catherine screaming at Gil not to die and trying to stop his bleeding. Warrick bagging Sara's sidearm. He needed Catherine to tell him what happened and he needed her statement for the record.

Catherine stared at him looking like she was going to burst into hysterical tears when she suddenly got a hold of herself and nodded clearing her throat.

"Warrick called me from Riley's Pub and said I needed to go down there and when I got there I found that Warrick was watching a game on the TV. and Gil was passed out on the floor. We took Gil back to his house and…" She hesitated, biting her lip nervously. She was still furious with Gil but she didn't want to embarrass him. However, Jim was one of Gil's friends and one of his closest friends at that. Jim sat silently being the epitome of patience as Catherine struggled to figure out what to tell him.

"Warrick and I sat and talked for a while in Gil's kitchen. Warrick explained why Gil had been drinking so heavily at the bar and then Gil woke up and came in and I yelled and walked out. Gil went after me and… he… explained why he did it and then Sara started screaming at him. She came out of nowhere and she was so mad at him and she attacked me and Gil restrained her and Warrick said he was going to take her home and then she…" Catherine had verged on hysterics during her explanation, causing it to be in very bland and uninformative sentences. Jim knew she was leaving out something important and he was determined to find out what it was.

"If Sara was furious with Gil why would she attack you? Also, why was Grissom drinking?" Jim inquired gently. Catherine looked up at him with a dismal expression and relented.

"Gil slept with Sara last night." There was a stunned silence on Jim's part for about a minute.

"He what!"

"That was my reaction." Catherine said coldly the anger she had felt earlier that morning came flooding back into her body making her quiver with ill concealed fury. Jim ran his hand through his closely cropped hair as he struggled to comprehend the bombshell that had just been dumped on him.

"What the hell was he thinking?" Muttered Jim distractedly, he glanced at Catherine as if he knew something she didn't. She caught the look and immediately got suspicious.

"What do you know that I don't know Jim?" She had decided to take the direct approach with this. Jim looked like a cornered rabbit, scared. He sighed deeply and glanced toward the ER. She knew he was struggling with a difficult decision.

"Well I just find it damn near impossible to believe that Gil would sleep with Sara…I mean… He doesn't have feelings for her like…" He stopped looking fearful as if he'd said too much.

"Like what?" Pressed Catherine in her most determined manner; she needed to know whatever this was.

"He doesn't have feelings for her like the ones he has for you." Blurted out Jim so quickly she almost didn't catch it. She felt shock fill her like water tumbling down into an already turbulent river fraught with rapids and sudden drops.

"You knew too?" Brass blinked; he didn't seem to realize that this wasn't a state secret anymore, or maybe, Catherine thought, she and Sara were the only ones who hadn't known.

"You knew and Warrick knew, so who else knew? Jim shifted uncomfortably.

"Well to be honest…" He hesitated, "I think you were the only one who didn't. I think Sara was just in denial, because…" He flat out stopped speaking this time, looking as if he was afraid of being physically harmed. Catherine just stared and Jim felt his apprehension grow into full fledged terror as he noticed Catherine's hands shaking. For her part, Catherine felt completely shocked, how she could have failed to see how Gil felt was beyond her, especially when everyone else could see it. Why hadn't Gil ever hinted their flirting meant more to him then just being playful? Catherine thought about that for a second. Playful wasn't a word one typically associated with Gil Grissom, though in her personal experience with him it was very accurate. She chose her words carefully, though maybe not carefully enough.

"Until today I had no idea how Gil felt. I found out this morning." She whispered looking up at the door through which the EMT's had taken an unconscious and hemorrhaging Gil and she felt her weak facade of calmness slip away. Jim had no idea what to do; he had never seen Catherine break down like this. He'd never known how much Gil meant to her and he'd never thought she would sob over anybody like this. He had no idea how to comfort her so he just placed a hand comfortingly over her hands and told her Gil would be fine. That the Bugman wouldn't succumb to one measly bullet, and all the while he prayed to whatever higher powers were at work that all would go well and Gil would live.

Sara sat stoically across the table from Detective Sofia Curtis. Sofia watched the dead look in Sara's eyes and it scared her. She had known Sara was emotionally possessive over the grave shift supervisor but she'd never thought Sara would shoot him. She didn't understand what had happened at all until Warrick explained what he knew and Jim called filling her in on the rest. Now she sat across from a woman who was still possibly going to be a murderer. Sara had a look of complete and total despair about her and her eyes said she was dead emotionally. Sofia almost felt bad for her. She didn't know exactly how the younger woman felt. True she had had a thing for Grissom but as soon as she'd seen how he interacted with Catherine she'd known she had no chance and backed off. Sara had refused to see and now she was paying for it in every way. As Sofia studied the woman she wondered what possessed Sara to consider murder an option. Sara turned her gaze upwards towards Sofia; her zombie-like stare boring through Sofia's eyes and out the back of her head, burning its way through and out of the police station all the way to the hospital where Catherine waited for news on Gil.

"So is he ok." Sofia almost jumped when Sara spoke. Her voice was low and hoarse like she'd been crying, and on closer examination of Sara's face she thought it was a safe bet that she had been. Sofia shook her head slowly debating on how much to say.

"He's still in surgery, aside from that I can't say." Sofia said flatly. Sara's eyes flickered slightly and Sofia became slightly wary. Something was very wrong.

Sara thought about the consequences of what she had done. She knew no matter what she had to escape. Staying was no option. Her eyes narrowed as she waited for an opportunity.

Detective Vega entered with a cup of coffee for Detective Curtis and as Sofia reached for the steaming, white, Styrofoam cup Sara pounced, diving across the metal table tackling Sofia to the ground and making a mad grab for Sofia's sidearm in the process. The coffee hit the table about the same time the two women hit the floor and while Detective Vega tried to discern who was who the coffee started dripping to the floor slowly making a tiny pittering splash with every drop. There was a report of a gun that resounded like a thunderclap in a tin can. Vega froze and Sofia eyes went blank from shock as the realization of what had happened set in as the crimson blood permeated her shirt. Vega pulled Sara off of Sofia and the gun clattered to the floor. Blood was everywhere and as Sara leaned against the wall of the interrogation room as Vega screamed for an ambulance, Sara smiled in a satisfied manner. Escape at long last, the ultimate escape.

A pair of eyes closed on the world for the last time as another opened to face another night. Vega stared at Sara with a mess of confusion in his mind. He looked at Warrick who had come to the station to tell them the results of Gil's surgery; Warrick's words had died on his lips as he entered the interrogation room just as Sara had pulled the trigger. Sara Sidle had succeeded in killing somebody. Herself.

READ & REVIEW... More to come within a day or two hang in there... Grissom isn't out of the woods yet :) grins evilly


	3. The Penultimate Domino

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The Penultimate Domino

When Warrick broke the news to the others there was an awkward sort of silence. Nobody wanted to say they were happy Sara was dead but nobody wanted to acknowledge the fact that this was just one more domino in this chain pushing them to the brink of despair and grief from which recovery involves multiple medications and therapy sessions.

No one felt certain about whether or not it was appropriate to feel grief considering the current circumstances. Greg, however, stood up and flatly stated that this was all too much and asked if anybody else wanted to go get a few drinks too many. Warrick accepted the offer and told the others he'd keep an eye on the lab rat and to call if they got any news on Gil. With that the two left and Nick, Catherine, and Jim sat quaking with repressed emotions and apprehension.

The hours passed in relative silence. Every now and then somebody would ask if anybody wanted coffee and the other two would shake their heads and they would return to sitting in silence. Nobody wanted to ask what was going on even though the question beat a demanding tattoo in their heads. Nobody wanted to think about who was going to tell Gil what had happened. He would wake up. Catherine felt certain of that. She refused to lose Gil, not now, not ever. It was foolish, she knew, to place so much hope on a simple bit of intuition and as she mentioned it to the others they both stared at her gravely.

"Hope is what keeps us going." Jim stated comfortingly. Catherine nodded, knowing he was right. The little flicker of hope that everything would be ok jumped and crackled struggling to be more than a spark.

Gil's doctor came into the observation room above the ICU room where Gil was being taken care of. He was a youngish man with light brown hair that fell into his eyes and was flecked with gray; he also had soft, warm, understanding, brown eyes and a tired wan face. He gave them a weary smile.

"Mr. Grissom should be fine. He is by no means out of the woods but I'm not overly worried now; pending any unforeseeable complications he'll be fine. The next few hours are crucial. He lost a lot of blood and his body didn't get enough oxygen sent around; so we'll see if he's suffered any brain damage or muscle death. Also, we're suggesting that all of you go home and get some rest but we'll allow two of you to stay with him as long as you're quiet."

Catherine felt rather like a little kid being told to behave during mass. She and Jim raised their hands slowly, tentatively, like children not certain that they had the correct answer in school. The doctor nodded in a manner that conveyed finality and he led them through the brightly lit halls towards Gil's ICU room. Gil's room itself was dimly lit. Catherine didn't know why they bothered, Gil would sleep irregardless. She remembered, years ago, how Gil would nod off while eating and end up with beef lo mien and rice in his hair. He still fell asleep on occasion, though these days it was due to paperwork.

She approached Gil's bed and put her hand to her mouth as she felt the tears leap to her eyes. Gil looked terrible. His skin was ashen and his breathing sounded awful and labored. Catherine took the seat next to Gil's bed and held his hand. She sat there silently, resting her head on the edge of his bed, waiting for him to wake up. Jim settled into the other chair and fell asleep after a while. Somewhere around about two in the morning, Catherine felt pressure on her hand. She lifted her head to gaze into the deep blue eyes observing her with concern.

"You ok Cath?" Catherine laughed in borderline hysterics.

"You're the one who gets shot and you're asking me if I'm ok? You're mental." Gil shrugged in response and seemed to regret it as a fresh wave of pain hit him. She squeezed his hand gently. He gave her a weak smile.

"You're mental." Catherine repeated. Gil raised an eyebrow at her.

"I'm not even going to argue that one with you." He informed her. "How long have I been out?"

"About seventeen hours. It's just after two in the morning." Gil just stared at her. He couldn't believe it.

"What exactly happened?" He asked.

"You don't remember?"

"Not all of it. I remember Sara pulling a gun and pointing it at you. I remember pushing you out of the way and feeling pain. Then you were screaming at me again and Warrick was yelling for help. Then I must have passed out and then I woke up here." She stared and the realization of what she was going to have to tell him hit her in full force. She burst into tears. Gil looked completely bewildered. His hand moved to cup her cheek and his thumb wiped away her tears.

"Now what did I do?" He asked sadly. Catherine shook her head.

"Sara's dead." She whispered. Gil's eyes went wide with shock and horror.

"What?"

"Sofia was questioning her and Sara dove for Sofia's gun and shot herself before anybody could stop her." Gil stared at the ceiling, absorbing this information.

"My fault," was all he said.

The rest of the night passed in relative silence. Catherine knew that not matter what she said, Gil would always blame himself for Sara's suicide. Gil cheered up a bit when Jim woke up and went into a sputtering lecture about how Gil shouldn't do stupid things that get him shot later. Gil merely looked bemused and laughed at Jim.

"I don't plan on it again." He squeezed Catherine's hand slightly and she had the feeling that Gil would be ok. This feeling was quickly dashed as Gil laughed at one of Jim's bad jokes and entered a coughing fit that resulted in him coughing up blood. The doctors kicked Catherine and Jim out into the hall and the torturous waiting began again.

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